ALEX IN HELL

The Dark Realms - Day 6634

Fri, 15 Nov 2002 16:54:16 GMT

So the singsong last night didn't go as bad as one would have thought.

Things were definitely looking down when I arrived to discover all available partners were taken (after Roger again, Josie dear? Don't think I didn't see you trying to catch your dress on fire every time he glowered in your direction), so I got stuck between Stenmun, the archetypal Scanran comedian, and his buddy Blayce, who thinks everyone is out to kill him in spite of the fact that he's already dead.

Between Blayce twitching and Stenmun's constant HO HO HO every time he thinks he's made a joke (and let's face it, the man is nothing more than a complete and total joke, so the laughter continues unceasingly), I was about ready to call it quits and beg Mithros to kill me again just so I could escape to the Even Darker Realms.

But everything turned out for the better. It just so happens that Blayce doesn't EAT marshmallows because he thinks they're part of a diabolical plot to kill him (we'll just nod and leave it at that). Not only that, but Stenmun has an even bigger sword than I do and is quite willing to trade fencing tips in return for the occasional chuckle and fake smile. HA! Let's see you defeat my m4d l33t f3nc1ng sk1||z AND supersecret Scanran attack powers on top of that, you crossdressing Lioness slut!

Things got even more enjoyable when Trebond threw a fit in the middle of his song-and-dance routine because Lord Alan "missed his cue" (if you ask me, only of course no one ever does, that's been happening for years. If only he'd caught on decades ago what trouble that whore and her twin would be, he could have drowned the whelps at birth).

Anyway, we were all entreated to a nice hour-long diatribe on fatherly love and why Thommy doesn't deserve any up until Mithros the Spoilsport Sun God caught wind of it and arrived with his goons to send us all back to the torture chambers until tomorrow night, when we're scheduled to have a Flipper movie marathon.

Dark Lord, when will the torture end?

The Dark Realms - Day 6633

Fri, 15 Nov 2002 00:37:18 GMT

If a certain young redheaded smartass even goes NEAR Roger at tonight's singsong, he's going to get his puny little behind kicked all the way to the mortal realms and back again.

I've got my eye on you, Thommy boy.

The Dark Realms - Day 6633

Thu, 14 Nov 2002 16:14:45 GMT

Tonight is the blasted singsong in the campfire again. I'm currently hoping that Ibn Nazzir will be sufficiently distracted by Josiane's...ahem, ax, that I'll be able to push him into Trebond and steal his marshmallows while the whiney little brat throws a fit about being unappreciated.

Oh, it's the little things that make this wretched life worth living.

Well, you know what I mean.

The Dark Realms - Day 6632

Thu, 14 Nov 2002 04:07:38 GMT

I swear to Uuosaea, if I have to listen to Thom of Trebond complaining about how underappreciated he is one more time, I'm going to petition the Black God to sentence me to an eternity of torment and suffering in my own private hell.

With my luck, it will be as Thom's personal psychologist.